I was talking to my friend on the phone and then she almost got run over and i was obviously really concerned so i asked her if she was okay and after a moment she replied “there is a Jesus in the sky” in a really matter-of-fact sort of way
so obviously I thought something was seriously wrong but
omg please don’t bring this back
People are converting because of this post and I’m actually Jewish oh god I fucked up
news flash: bbc finally does something right
Listen up college kiddies that think your drunken escapades don’t matter!
Ooh, and bonus Colin Salmon.
my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so hard
So I lost like 10 followers for posting pictures of rottweilers
Puppy party without you guys
one of the greatest pixar moments; a family thats ok with you coming 2nd
they were hiding their identities as superheros not making a statement
*slides you $20* pls stop ignoring me
hey look a $20 bill
i dont need a valentine i need 8 million dollars and a fast metabolism
There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”